


And you still linger

by moonlights0nata



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh!
Genre: Canonical Character Death, DSOD spoilers, Established Relationship, M/M, Thought I'd add that since Atem IS dead lmao, Tumblr Prompt, but i wanna post them here too, eventually there'll be more ships, i'm just hella slow with drabbles save me
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-23
Updated: 2017-10-28
Packaged: 2018-11-03 22:25:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10976607
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonlights0nata/pseuds/moonlights0nata
Summary: A series of YGO drabbles based on prompts I got on tumblr for various ships !





	1. Where is my mind (Puzzleshipping)

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: "where is my mind" with puzzleshipping.  
> http://moonlights0nata.tumblr.com/post/160673044634/send-me-a-number-and-a-characterpairing-for-a

It always felt like there’s something missing. A voice in his mind, the weight of the puzzle against his chest, another room in his soul. Yuugi didn’t think he could ever get used to not having another door opposite of his soul room. Didn’t think he could get used to how quiet his thoughts felt to him now, no one to reply to them but himself. He missed the comforting weight of the chain around his neck, being able to reach and touch the puzzle for reassurance.

Sometimes he searched for that missing thing, like a puzzle piece that’s missing from the picture, even knowing it’s pointless, even knowing it’s over, that it’s  _gone,_  the voice, the room, the  _soul._  There’s no more shared space. Only Yuugi, alone with his thoughts. His mind never felt so lonely, so  _empty_.

Even though Atem was not here, and he knew, he  _knew_ , and he had told Kaiba as much, that Atem was gone, there’s a part of him that still reached; reached for corners of his mind, trying to grasp something, anything, trying to find a mark that says Atem was here. It often felt like all traces were gone.

But they were not, even when he often forgot; the way he stood firmly, the way he walked without hesitation and sure step, the way he talked, confident, barely any traces left of the shy, self conscious boy of 16 he was when he and Atem had first met. In a way, Atem gave him all those things.  _He’d changed, he’d grown._ They both had, by the end of their journey, having learned from each other.

When he saw himself now, he couldn’t help but wonder if Atem would be proud of him. Even when the loneliness and the sorrow felt like they could eat him whole, his thoughts drifted to Atem, and he remembered his deep voice, how it’d soften when talking to him, saying his name, smiling and looking at him with something bright and warm in his eyes. The ache in his chest, when he remembered, the way his heart thrums, was a mark Atem was here too.

He had come to accept seeing him again wouldn’t happen, but then Kaiba dug out the puzzle, put it back together. Yuugi had one of its pieces back in his palm. And he can’t deny, during his duel with Kaiba, he felt a small flicker of hope when he put the piece where it belonged, that maybe Atem would come. But he knew, knew that was impossible, and the silence in his mind remained. Holding onto that hope was pointless, yet Kaiba persisted, he refused to believe him. And Yuugi couldn’t blame him.

But when everything felt like it was lost, his consciousness threatening to slip away in his duel with Diva, it happened. The only feeling he could relate it to was being struck by lightning, taking his breath away. It felt almost like arms were catching him before he toppled over, and that familiar warmth came back in a rush, the missing piece fitting back into place.  _Atem was here._  He was here, and the feeling was almost overwhelming, enveloping him,  _protective._

And then, in the safety of their souls, words felt almost futile. Yuugi could see the pride and love in Atem’s eyes for him, speaking more than anything could, felt the soft touch of his mind against his. They smiled at each other, a million things and questions left unsaid, yet they both got all the answers they needed. Having been connected for so long, they knew what the other was thinking by now. 

Yuugi merely took a step towards him, just as Atem did the same, and they sighed, resting their foreheads together and linking their hands. Yuugi squeezed them, met deep crimson eyes for a moment before they closed their eyes, relishing in the contact. Yuugi felt so light, like his soul was back where it belonged. 

The moment felt so vibrant, so bright, neither wanted to break the spell, but they knew they had to. That it was time.

Their eyes opened and they looked at each other, the unspoken prompt hanging in the air.  Yuugi nodded, and Atem copied the gesture after a beat. Their hands let go, fingers lingering in their touch for a moment, before Atem rose his hand and placed it over the puzzle, his parting smile as blinding as the light that came afterwards.

When he came to, the first thing he noticed was the weight of the puzzle against his chest.  _Silent._  Atem was gone again. He reached out to it, cradling it in his hands close to his chest. No, he wasn’t really  _gone_. The warmth that’d enveloped him, Atem’s touch, his smile; all of those things, were  _real_.

Yuugi couldn’t help the smile that pulled at his lips, even when tears threatened to spill down his cheeks. That piece that’d been missing—where, where had it been?– it’d come back.  _It’d never really left_. It had always been home, in his heart, in his mind, in his soul. A piece, a mark, that Atem was and would always linger close to him.

  



	2. Don't Lie (Prideshipping)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: "don't lie" with prideshipping.  
> http://moonlights0nata.tumblr.com/post/160673044634/send-me-a-number-and-a-characterpairing-for-a

“Don’t lie to me, Kaiba.” Kaiba saw something fierce in those crimson eyes, that familiar fire he would see in Atem’s eyes ,daring him to prove him wrong, to challenge him , as he strode forwards towards him from the pharaoh's-- _-his_ \--throne. “Why are you _really_ here?”

Atem came to stand right in front of him, his presence imposing, heavy, like the Pharaoh he was, facing Kaiba head on. But Kaiba didn't cower under his gaze, meeting his eyes with no hesitation.

“You know _why_.” He raised his duel disk as if that was answer enough. But Atem was right, that wasn't _all_ , and Kaiba knew it, even when he kept avoiding putting it into words. _Even now_. Atem sighed and Kaiba thought he saw disappointment in his face for a moment.

“Is that really it? Did you really risk coming here just for a duel? Did you develop all that technology, worked so hard to come see me just for this?” Atem sighed again, something tired yet soft in his eyes. “Kaiba, I’m _dead._ What is the _point_ of this duel?” Atem didn't _understand_ , and Kaiba could only grit his teeth. “What use is there in beating a _dead man_?” He frowned, his voice bordering on scolding. “If you want a rival, Yuugi is more than capable of taking you on.”

“I _know_ Yuugi is strong.” Kaiba half snapped, clicking his tongue. _Atem didn't understand_. ”I’m no fool. I've already acknowledged his strength.” Yuugi had beat him, at their last duel. And when Kaiba looked at him now, he saw his strength, could see that the timid young man he'd met was now a confident duelist, ready to take on the world. But whatever rivalry they could have wasn't like the one he had with Atem. _Yuugi wasn't Atem._

“I don't want Yuugi, I want _you_.” The words slipped out of his mouth, and Kaiba didn't think he could be any more _direct_. Surely Atem could see it now. See the other veiled reason for his visit, why he'd done so much to meet him again--

“Kaiba...” There was something almost sad in his eyes. “You can't stay fixated on our rivalry—It's over. I can't be the rival you want me to be. There's-- _There's no point anymore._ I'm--“

Something in Kaiba snapped. He grimaced, taking a step forwards.

“ _Don't tell me there's no point_.” He refused to acknowledge the way his voice almost broke , lip trembling. “ _Don't_ —say there's _no point_ to this. You— _You_ are my eternal rival. It's always been _you._ ” ' _It can only be you_.' But this wasn't just about their _rivalry_ anymore, wasn't just about a _duel_ , wasn't about who won and who lost. Kaiba didn't dug out the puzzle just for that. He didn't put it back together, worked so hard for that. It was all for HIM. _To see him_. One more time.

“Kai--” Atem tried to begin again, voice softer, but Kaiba cut him off, snapping.

“ _You left._ ” ' _You left me.'_ It was an accusation, and Kaiba knew it was wrong, because this is where Atem belonged, but a part of him would always fight it. A part of him wanted to be selfish. “You left. And I can't _accept_ that.” As he spoke his voice wavered between low and loud, feet moving forward, closer to the Egyptian. Atem was looking at him with bewilderment, blinking, still not understanding.

“I had to leave.” He said, hands carefully reaching for Kaiba, hesitantly resting on his arms. “You _know_ that.”

Pain was threatening to rise up, an emotion he pushed, and pushed down, stepped on it under his heel and tried to ignore it but it's _there_ , and Atem being here, speaking so calmly to him is slowly _breaking him._

“It doesn't mean it's what I wanted.” It's quiet, vulnerable, and Kaiba thought it's starting to show on his face, how much this—all of this, Atem—affected him, because the other's eyebrows creased, sad, and maybe now he understood.

“...What are you getting at?” He's closer now, looking up at Kaiba and searching him for an answer, that answer both knew but one wouldn't acknowledge.

“You're supposed to be smart. _Think._ ” He finally gave in the impulse to reach out and cradle Atem's face in his hands, surprising him. “...Why do _you_ think I'm here?” A thumb caressed Atem's cheek, unable to stay still, because he's _here_ , so close, finally within reach. He heard the Egyptian's breath catch a little.

“I...” Kaiba saw his lip twitch, head tilting and leaning against Kaiba's hand. “I don't know.” He stepped even closer, balancing forward on his toes. “Why don't you...help me understand?”

And that's perhaps all the prompting Kaiba needed to bend down, pressing his lips to the other's, Atem coming to meet him halfway and hands holding onto Kaiba's shoulders. That initial spark he felt upon their lips touching went through his spine like a shiver and he kissed Atem fiercely, almost desperate, like a drowning man, like he was afraid it'd be over all too quickly, that this wasn't _real_. Atem responded in kind, urgently pressing himself closer, arms wrapping around Kaiba and practically dragging him to the floor with him.

Their lips parted momentarily, Kaiba grunting as his knees met the floor before their lips found each other again. Kaiba hoped it got the message across, conveyed the words stuck to his throat-- _I love you--_ like old glue that would never go away.

His eyes blinked open, lips slowly separating. His ears perked up when he heard a sound like laughter, but it was choked , and he felt Atem shaking against him. He glanced at the other man with confusion etched in his brow, watched as he shook his head.

“This—This is—You're three thousand years late, _Seto_.” It's rare to hear his given name from Atem and it surprised him, but he's more concerned about the way Atem's voice quivered ever so slightly. “You--” Tanned hands cupped his cheeks and the air was knocked out of Kaiba by the sight of those eyes, _burning_ with an emotion he'd only seen in his brother's eyes, something like _affection_ , but this was different, and it's laced with so much sadness, even when Atem's smiling , but looking like he thought this is all part of some sick joke or prank from the universe itself. “You do realize how _messed up_ this is, don't you?”

Kaiba frowned at that, offended, but Atem shook his head again, trying to explain himself. “No, not—not like--god I--” He pressed another quick kiss to Kaiba's lips. “ _I love you too._ “ The words sent a tingling sensation all through Kaiba, and he let out a little breath. He'd longed for those words. To hear them, to express them, but he'd been unable to take that one step closer until now. Of all times, of all places, he choose now. “But this—I'm dead, Kaiba.” _Three thousand years late, indeed._ Kaiba's lip pursed, an indescribable emotion passing through his face. It's like everything he'd bottled was ready to overflow, at this very moment, every word Atem said drawing his emotions closer to the edge, closer to bursting and breaking.

“Stop talking, _Atem_.” It's odd for him to mumble, but his words were quiet, almost a plea, because the more he heard the more he cracked. He pulled Atem into his arms, feeling him press against his chest, solid, _**real**_. He's trembling, throat clogging, and he thought he heard Atem let out another choked noise.

“You have to let me go, Kaiba.” Atem's words were equally quiet, just for them, and they pierced through him. He held on tighter.

“No.” He hid his face on Atem's shoulder, shutting his eyes so he could pretend his vision hadn't started to blur.

“Seto...” _'Please',_ he heard, and he shook his head, stubborn.

“I'm _not_ letting you go.” ' _I don't want to let you go. I don't want to say goodbye.'_ He just held on tighter, and he felt Atem's arms wrapping around him too, almost like saying _'I don't want to let go either'_.

Kaiba didn't know, how long they stayed like that, clutching each other, refusing to let go of the other, because they knew all they had was this moment, this time. And they knew it was late. Kaiba knew, even when he'd willingly gone chasing after a dead spirit.

But he was stubborn. And he wanted to be selfish.

So he didn't let go.

Not now.

Not ever.

 


	3. Lose Yourself (Puppyshipping)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: "lose yourself" with puppyshipping.  
> http://moonlights0nata.tumblr.com/post/160673044634/send-me-a-number-and-a-characterpairing-for-a  
> (AFTER 3000 YEARS....)

“Kaiba--Kaiba--” The voice talking to him felt distant, far off, and at first Kaiba didn't react to it, lost in a trance, his mind racing. His breathing was shallow, short—was he even breathing? He felt dizzy, like air wasn't properly getting to his lungs.

“Dammit—Kaiba--” Something jostled his shoulder. “Seto!” Suddenly the voice wasn't far away but close by, and Kaiba inhaled sharply, eyes starting to come into focus. He became aware of someone sitting next to him, of hands cupping his face. Blue eyes met worried, hazel ones and he blinked quickly, realized it was Jounouchi's hands on his face, warm, _grounding_ , and he finally took notice of his surroundings. It was dark , but the sheets underneath him told him they were in his bedroom.

“Seto.” Jounouchi's voice, soft, less alarmed than before, called for him again. “You had a nightmare. It was just a dream. You have to _breathe_.” Kaiba realized he was still close to hyperventilation and he swallowed thickly, trying to calm down, even as the images of his dream came crashing down on him. But Jounouchi kept him from loosing himself to those visions, still talking, tone gentle but commanding. “Breathe with me.”

All Kaiba could offer was a weak nod, signal that he was listening, and then copied Jounouchi as he breathed in and out, inhale, exhale, in a steady rhythm. Air came back to his lungs, and he slowly managed to even his breathing, but was still visibly shaking, unable to conceal it. He averted his gaze, slouching against the headboard of the bed. Jounouchi sat beside him, silent but his presence comforting nevertheless.

Kaiba grit his teeth. It frustrated him to no end, that something that were mere figments of his mind could _shake_ him so much. That he couldn't pretend it didn't. Because he was used to it, to _crushing_ such emotions with his bare hands, because he didn't need them, and showing signs of weakness was something he'd never allowed himself.

Although there was a time, when he was young and spirited and hopeful and he'd gambled everything in a chess match to attain something that would have otherwise been out of reach. He'd played his cards well, but he'd been a _child_ and weak and helpless against Gozaburo's hand, his words, his rules, his _punishments_. They crushed the naive boy he was. They replaced it by someone cunning, cold and calculative, emotions something he did not need to survive in the environment he was in. Gozaburo made him who he was. And his own creation had been his step father's downfall.

His dreams were a constant reminder. Sometimes of the distant past, of he and Mokuba and other kids, having so little but enough to smile. But others, like tonight, and many other nights, of everything he'd gained with that chess game, and everything he'd lost; of every punishment by Gozaburo's hand, of every scar it'd left, of leaving Mokuba alone, of how he'd lost himself in the process, leaving only a shell.

And it frightened him. Because even though he'd picked up the cracked pieces of his soul, finding himself again, he feared the person he had become, the things he'd done, the fact that sometimes he'd sounded like Gozaburo himself.

_It was disgusting._

A hand lightly brushed against his and Kaiba flinched on instinct but relaxed knowing it was just Jounouchi. He let him grab his hand and run a thumb over his knuckles. A small gesture, but by now it spoke miles to Kaiba; _'i'm here if you need me'._

Odd, how with little soft touches Jounouchi managed to get in between the cracks, to lower Kaiba's defenses. After younger years of petty bickering, Kaiba guessed they'd grown up. At least, _he_ had, just enough to see Jonouchi in a different light. To see the earnest, caring person he was, the stubborn, passionate duelist that even in the face of defeat had never given up. Even if they still bantered often, it was softer, more playful, like a game for them. And it was almost no surprise they'd become close; that they'd come to share quiet moments at coffee shops, that Jounouchi started bursting into his office and dragging him outside for a break, that they dueled sprawled on Kaiba's bed and for a moment, Kaiba felt like someone else, like the him that could have lived his high school days differently, playing a game with a friend, for the mere enjoyment of it, taunting each other, joking together.

Jonouchi was now a constant in his life. One Kaiba couldn't nor did he want to get rid of.

Kaiba still didn't find it easy, to show weakness, to let down his walls. But with Jonouchi, it was different. It wasn't so hard, now, _to trust._ To let himself be vulnerable around him. He had been used to waking up alone after a nightmare, in a silent cry, only the darkness to embrace him and reflect everything he'd seen in his dream. But now, more often than not, Jonouchi was next to him, to draw him back into reality.

Kaiba's other hand naturally raised to his neck, rubbing at the old bruises there, and he swallowed thickly, flashes of his dream coming back to him _. That dammed collar, pressing against his throat._

“I doubted that man was really human, sometimes.” He said, without much context, aware that Jonouchi was looking at him. “But he was cunning. Intelligent. Manipulative. Knew exactly how to make people dance in the palm of his hand. To bend them to his will.” He let out a non comical snort. “By force, if he had to.” He stopped rubbing his neck and merely stared at his hand. “But he miscalculated. He taught me too much.” He curled his hand into a fist. “And _I_ crushed _him_.”

Jonouchi still said nothing, but he had shifted so their shoulders bumped into each other. Kaiba didn't move, merely stared at his fist. “That had been my only goal, for years. Once he was no longer in charge, things would finally look up for Mokuba and me.” His hand dropped to his lap and he smiled wryly. “But somewhere along the way...I lost sight of _everything._ Of myself. Sometimes...” His voice lowered. “ _It feels like Gozaburo never left_.” Sometimes the mirror showed someone else. Sometimes he saw the monster.

“Seto.” Jonouchi finally spoke up, and out of the corner of his eyes Kaiba finally noticed he'd turned on the bed lamp. He moved closer, trying to get Kaiba to meet his eyes. “You are nothing like him.”

“ _I am what he made me_.” He retorted, harshly. “By trying to reject everything he was--” Another laugh, a hand rising to cover his face. “I became like him. Just like he expected, surely--”

“ _Stop_. Seto, stop--” Only when he had Jounouchi in front of him, straddling his lap and cupping his cheeks did he realize he was starting to get agitated again. Jonouchi lifted up his face for their eyes to meet. “Listen, whether you are or not like him depends on _you._ _Your choices_. And I know—I know I can't imagine what he was like, the things he did to you--” There was a certain edge to his voice, _anger_ , towards Gozaburo. “But I know _you_. And sure, when I met you I thought you were the biggest jerk on the planet, and didn't give a damn about anyone but yourself—But now I know better. Behind that dumb mask you wear to appear cool and collected and cold you give more damns than you want others to know. I know you'd do anything to keep Mokuba safe. You care about him more than anyone in the world.”

“But it doesn't change the fact all those years I ignored him. All those years I treated his failures like Gozaburo would--” With _venom_ in his words, with harsh punishments, because failure was not in the Kaiba dictionary. Regret tasted sour in his mouth.

“Listen.” Jonouchi shook him again, kept him from spiraling down again. “I'm not saying what you did in the past was right. What matters is what you do _now_. You are the kind of guy who always looks forwards, right?” Jonouchi's hand gently stroked his cheek and there's adoration in those eyes as they looked at him. “And you can't play the cold business man like ya used to. I know you better. _Mokuba_ knows you better. You get this stupidly adorable warm look in your eyes whenever you greet him in the morning. For once you came home early when you found out he was sick and stayed up all night _just for him_. You love your little brother so damn much. You are far, far from the man Gozaburo was.”

He leaned in and pressed a kiss to Kaiba's lips, short but meaningful, eyes fond when he pulled away. “I've seen you _change_. I've seen you mess up, and I've seen you try to make up for it.” A hand rested on Kaiba's chest, just above his heart. “You are not a machine, you are not a _robot_. You are so very human. I've seen how caring your heart is.”

Jonouchi's image looked blurry and only then did Kaiba realize there were tears at the corners of his eyes. And he couldn't hide them, _he couldn't look away_ , not from Jonouchi. Not anymore. Jonouchi smiled and got closer again.

“I love you so much.” With those words their lips locked together, Kaiba meeting him halfway. Long arms wrap around Jonouchi's back and embraced him tightly, holding onto him and gripping the back of his shirt. When Jonouchi pulled away a little Kaiba surged forward again and kissed him desperately, muffling a whimper between their mouths, gripping him tighter.

He didn't want to ever let go of this man.

This man that could see something else than the monster in the mirror.

Jonouchi, that saw him, saw through him and loved him. Jonouchi, who Kaiba had come to adore.

“Katsuya--” The name slipped between kisses and if anything Jonouchi's kisses turned even sweeter for it. Kaiba was a little winded by the time he pulled away, but he chuckled, eliciting a confused noise from Jonouchi. Kaiba's arms had relaxed their grip, now wrapped loosely around Jonouchi's neck.

“You are right. I was never the type to care for the past. Only for what is standing in front of me.” Because the past hurt too much to look back on sometimes. But right now the past was meaningless because what he had right here was his present, and his future. He looked at Jonouchi, eyes unguarded, and felt him catch his breath.

“And I...care for you.” He sighed, their foreheads bumping together. “ _I love you_. And I love Mokuba.” He shut his eyes tightly, lines creasing his brow. “I'm...just...” ' _I'm just so afraid to loose it. To mess up all of this. To become the monster.'_

“I know.” Jonouchi untangled himself momentarily just so he could lay both of them down, arms wrapping around Kaiba and caressing his back.

“We're not going anywhere, Seto. And, if you ever loose yourself again--” He tucked Kaiba's head under his chin and held him protectively to his chest. Feeling safe with someone used to be something nonexistent in Kaiba's life, always alert, always untrusting. But here with Jonouchi he felt _safe_ , and when he spoke, Kaiba trusted his words.

“I'll be there to help you find yourself.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> My writing is rusty as heck but hopefully I can warm up with these drabbles ! Also at my tumblr moonlights0nata.


End file.
